krpg (kentusrpg): “This marks the end of the third volume!”
RN (Rine aka Katarine von Stolzherz): “Yay!”
MK (Momokawa Kyou): “This room has too many people! Can’t we throw Ken out?”
KK (Katsuragi Kenta): “Gladly! Then I don’t have to hang around here anymore!”
Ara’ainn: “And I thought it was supposed to be that cramped.”
krpg: Just try to bear it. And Ara’ainn still needs an abbreviation. Well, obviously, it would be AA. … *pff* she’s AA.”
AA: “Is there something funny about it?”
krpg: “No, I’m just immature.”
AA: “I don’t get it.”
RN: “Me neither.”
KK: “Don’t try to understand that hamster.”
MK: “Maybe that’s some sort of special joke that won’t translate.”
AA: “I can see that.”
krpg: “Nonetheless, the first arc is over.”
KK: “We have arcs? I just assumed that you’re just writing what comes into your sick mind.”
krpg: “Yes, and this was an arc. Let’s call it “Gathering the party”-arc!
KK: “So there will be no further additions to the party?”
MK: “At least it sounds like that.”
RN: “That’s sad, I like having even more friends!”
AA: “But it looks time-consuming to give too many characters enough time to unfold.”
krpg: “How much the party will grow is something, I can’t say yet. If I’m able to expand as much as I want, there will be some more additions indeed, but for now, I concentrate on what I have here.”
KK: “So a bitch, a dork, and an everlasting brat?”
MK: “Don’t forget about the jerk.”
RN: “Don’t fight!”
AA: “What do you mean with your statement, author?”
krpg: “That now it’s time to put more emphasis on character development.”
RN: “So Kenta will finally be true to himself and act like a husband is supposed to do?”
KK: “No way!”
RN: “But Kenta, we didn’t even kiss yet!”
MK: “Don’t even think about it, Ken!”
AA: “What’s so great about what you call a kiss? I mean, interlocking your lips and tongues more seems like the best way to get some pathogens.”
krpg: “Well, one thing at a time. Now, to end the arc, we have two announcements!”
MK: “Which ones?”
krpg: “First, in the Afterword is a poll, where the readers can vote for their most favorite of you guys!”
KK: “What’s the point. It’ll be Rine, after all.”
RN: “Kyou, what’s wrong?”
MK: “So many readers seem to hate me for some reason…”
RN: “You’ll be fine! I’m sure you have many fans, that just are just a bit quiet!”
MK: “That’s rich, coming from you. You’re number 1 spot is already confirmed!”
RN: “We don’t know that!”
AA: “Don’t I have bad chances here? I only appear in this volume, so I haven’t had much of a chance to get the favor of the readers.”
krpg: “Won’t be so bad, Ara’ainn. You had fewer chances to blow it, and we still have three Extras left in this volume.”
KK: “Three? Isn’t it normally just two Extras?”
krpg: “This time it’s three. I didn’t make a poll for the Extras this time because if we look at the first two volumes, we have an order to follow this time: Another “Love is Gold” with Ara’ainn and a story about her. It’s a pattern, that’s easy to follow.”
AA: “Thank you for this opportunity, author, but that only explains two Extras.”
krpg: “The third one wasn’t planned before. But when I unexpectedly received a bonus drawing from MioChin, the artist, on Christmas, I was ashamed that I didn’t have anything for return. So I asked him if there is anything I can do, and he said: ‘IMO, just a little suggestion it will great if you release a special Christmas chapter, not for me, but for all of your fans.’ That’s why even if the season is now long over, I started writing it. May be out of season, but I wanted to include it in this volume because that’s when Christmas was there.”
KK: “So the best way to make you do things is a sense of guilt? Good to know.”
krpg: “That’s called ‘the wish to return some of the happiness I felt.’”
MK: “Why are you even trying? It’s not like Ken actually knows what happiness is.”
KK: “Shut up, Kyou-san! I’ll stomp you in the popularity contest!”
MK: “…I can’t believe that Ken is saying it… and it might hold true…”
RN: “Erm… I can’t support any of you without making the other look bad… so… do your best, everyone!”
krpg: “And with this, we start with the first Extra!
Extra 1 – Love is Gold Episode 3
A (Announcer): “*monotone* Welcome to ‘Love is Gold’, the show which shows the true colors of each relationship. Today we’re welcoming a young couple, and who could it be but Katsuragi Kenta with another wife, her name is Ara’ainn.”
*cheering and whistling. “Marry me!”*
KK: “…just take your job seriously.”
A: “Not when I’m stuck with you. How is your arm?”
KK: “Still hurts, but being a hero has its advantages.”
AA: “Was something with your arm, Kenta-kun? When did that happen? Could it be, that you had an accident when you were doing yourself?”
A: “Erm, I think you mean, when he was fixing something by himself, right?”
AA: “No, I was referring to mast-”
A: “Stop! Right here! We’re a family friendly show!”
AA: “Ah, so you want me to elaborate a bit because it’s good for building a family in the first place to know more about interc-”
A: “Stop! Please, make her stop, Katsuragi Kenta!”
KK: “I’m just glad, that I’m not on that side for the moment.”
A: “Erm, Ara’ainn! I can see that you’re an elf.”
AA: “… …I’m not.”
A: “So you’re a cosplayer?”
AA: “What is a cosplayer?”
KK: “He says, that you’re a human in disguise.”
AA: “…I see.”
KK: “Go on, Announcer-san, there are plenty of sandtraps still left.”
A: “What do you mean by that?”
KK: “Just go on with your questions.”
A: “Alright! Ara’ainn, tell me about you!”
AA: “I’m Ara’ainn, the hero sage! I’ve studied them for a century, I know them even better then they do themselves and traveled far and wide for my research! I’m a hero myself, I wield the powerful magic of the spirits and the elements, I’ve faced the epitome of evil on my own and survived. I’m from the proud alfr race, a race that is connected with the world in a way a human will never be able to understand, we are called the young folk by you!”
A: “Wow, what a setting.”
AA: “…Kenta-kun, could it be, that he doesn’t take me seriously?”
KK: “Ara-san, isn’t it kinda obvious?”
A: “Of course I take you seriously, Ara’ainn. So please tell me, how do you and your husband met?”
AA: “He caught me when I was falling asleep while walking.”
A: “Erm, do you have narcolepsy?”
AA: “No, I was just tired.”
A: “Katsuragi Kenta… You didn’t drug her, right?”
KK: “No, I didn’t.”
AA: “He was just trying to exploit me, having his way with me.”
A: “You’re the worst.”
KK: “Shut up, if you don’t even know what happened!”
A: “Well, I guess this could be some sort of variety of the Stockholm Syndrome. Nonetheless: What do you like about each other?”
KK: “Phew… She is easy to talk to and knows what I’m thinking most of the time.”
AA: “He’s funny.”
A: “This… is somehow normal? I mean, this is totally usual for a couple! Even though it’s Katsuragi Kenta.”
KK: “What’s that suppose to mean?”
AA: “To be honest, I’m just concerned sometimes about the way he looks at me. It’s like he measures up if he can simply push me down, and poor me have no way to defend myself.”
A: “You… you do what!?”
KK: “She’s just joking around.”
AA: “Kenta-kun, for you, it might be just a joke, but it makes me not sleep at night.”
KK: “You’re not sleeping because you read the whole time, right?”
AA: “Not the whole time.”
A: “Erm… are you fighting? Or do you have fun?”
KK: “Even I don’t know.”
A: “Well, we’re going back to the questions… What is your favorite activity as a couple?”
AA: “Experimenting, that’s what we do.”
A: “…I don’t know what to say.”
KK: “Me neither.”
AA: “The last time, Kenta-kun was hitting me so hard, that it made me bleed. He was so rough.”
KK: “…you’re doing it on purpose.”
AA: “What do you mean?”
A: “…what sort of activities are you even doing? No, don’t tell, we are family friendly! Don’t tell.”
AA: “Also, first Kenta-kun took his long weapon in his hand, and then…”
A: “Stop, cut! Cut!”
Extra 2 – How to celebrate Christmas in a fantasy world
Inside the house of one of the herbalists.
“I just realized something.” I’m sitting half-naked on a stool while saying this. I’m in my true form, the [Student]-class, because I just used the [Calculator]-skill.
Kyou-san puts some paste on my bruises that I got during training today. The training was jumping from one branch to another but said branch broke and I fell three meters, hitting several other branches on the way. I can be glad that I’m a hero because otherwise there would be more than mere bruises.
“I just made a rough estimation of how long we are in this shitty fantasy world. We were transported in October, right?”
“You actually remembered?”
“I had other stuff on my mind.”
“How could you even… well, no matter. So you’ve calculated?”
“Yes. If we just say that time flows at the same speed in both world’s, and we’re now about two of this world’s month here. Each month in this calendar is about sixty days in ours. So basically-”
“We missed Christmas and New Years.”
“…not exactly, what I was going to say, but yes, that’s also true.”
“So I spend my birthday alone and Christmas with you… great, really precious.” She roughly slaps my back with the hand, that’s applying the paste on a bruise. “That’s so what I wanted to do!” She’s falling into another hissy-fit.
She wasn’t putting any weight into her slaps, but it still hurts, especially considering my current [Vitality]. “Stop it! I’m a [Student] right now!”
“Yes, and I’m supposed to be a student as well! But I wasn’t just transported to another world, I’m spending so much of my time with someone, who just makes me feel bad!”
“Phew, just give up. We’re doomed to stick together for a while. Accept it, and use this excessive power on something constructive.”
“This may work for you! If you’d even try to be remotely kind to me for a change, maybe I would be able to bear it! Then I could think that maybe we might become friendly with each other.”
“Are you trying to make a joke?”
“And remarks like that are the reason, why it’ll never work!” She slaps another bruise while treating it. I guess, the only reason why she even treats my injuries is her own training. “You’re the worst!”
“We both are. I’m just honest about that.”
“*Sigh* Just shut up.” She mumbles something, but as I’m not in my [Scout]-class, I can’t hear it clearly enough to figure it out.
But most likely it’s just more whining. “It’s not like I want to be here. And missing Christmas is a great deal to me as well!”
“You know that those new games will be still available after Christmas?”
She got me. “It’s a matter of principle. Phew, I’m so out of the whole gaming scene, that it’ll be hard to get back to form…” Instead, I learned how to hunt, how to track, how to provide for myself. And how to kill. Most of it might be actual useful skills, but I want to hold a gamepad in my hands instead of a spear.
I want to indulge myself in a well-thought fantasy or sci-fi world for a change, in a good RPG which doesn’t include everything real person actually have to do. I think, the first games I’ll play after returning, are some old ones when nobody cared about realism.
But Christmas, huh?
“How do we celebrate the new year?” Ara-san ponders about my question while looking at another column of numbers, a list of the [Agility]-values of the alfar heroes of the past at level 20. Next to it is the list of the same people, just at level 10. Next to each [Agility]-number are others, acceleration, time in a 50 – looaf? – dash, how many sidesteps they can do in 20 seconds, etc.
Normally, you’d expect an increase in these numbers which is clearly related to the increase of [Agility], but at least I can’t figure it out. Let’s take the dash for example: Mathematically speaking, usually double the [Agility] should be half the time for these 50 looaf. But there is this alfar, who had Agility 45 at level 10 and 112 at level 20, and he didn’t even manage to reduce his time to 75%. More like 90%.
I’ve wondered before if Ara-san might have been just so lazy, that she could study the hero-system for a hundred years without having real concrete ideas how it works. I mean, she knows a lot, has an idea about almost everything regarding the system, but she lacks the correct formulas to make many mathematical predictions.
But if her hard numbers are all like this, it’s not too surprising. Is this how mathematicians struggles? There must be factors, but where to even start?
“Kenta-kun, are you listening?”
“Ah, sorry.” Actually, these numbers are more interesting than to learn how alfar celebrate the new year. Not like I expect them to know Christmas.
“In Alfarheim, we fasten the day, then we enter a state of meditation during the last hour, trying to picture what we did the last year, while sending the information to the network, to whoever is in charge this year. In our subconscious, the deeds of others are sent in and judged, then at the start of the new year, we can all see before our mind’s eye the best moment of the year.”
“Why does this sound, like some sort of contest?”
“It is. Because who did the best, earns a monetary reward, enough to live a fulfilled live for a year.”
“…just to be sure, what kind of deed would be ‘the best’?”
“Last year involved sugar, sap, bees, and a very deep hole.”
“Figured…” Living with the alfar for a while, it’s hard to not see their tendencies to somewhat innocent, but unforgiving cruelty. Good thing that Ara-san is kinda odd. Or more like, trying to act more human around us.
“By the way, there is a rumor that humans quite know how to use bees and saps for their sexual needs, so could you give me insight on that?”
Even though her definition of ‘human’ is definitely twisted.
Not that the common human won’t think of ‘elves’ as something entirely different from what stands before me. They more or less only got the pointy ears right.
“No comment. But how do the alfar in Aroahenn celebrate New Years?”
“They play the New Year Game. There is a lottery the day before the last day of the year. Ten victims are chosen there. During the last day, it’s the duty of each alfr to make the life of the victims a living hell, while the victims are not allowed to leave the forest. So it’s basically one side against the other.”
“No.” I’m kinda glad. Considering how alfar are, this is a real possibility. “There are twenty victims and the time limit is only three hours.”
But they still do it!?
“After that, there is a festival in the village, there is music, there are dances, there is a feast. The idea behind it is to be so loud, that the old year can’t take it anymore and make space for the new year. The moment the date changes, everyone becomes quiet, to give the new year a sense of security. The first week, no pranks are allowed.”
“…this doesn’t help at all.”
“Why are you so interested in our holidays in the first place?”
“Kyou-san and I realized, that we probably missed the holiday season in our world.”
“And you want to celebrate it later?”
“I see.” Finally, Ara-san stops looking through her papers. Her dark blue and green eyes are looking into mine, her outer dark green iris just narrowed a bit. Somewhat intense, I feel my heart beating faster. “Don’t look at me like that, Kenta-kun, it makes me feel all hot.” Her ears are reddish.
Since the day the curse also included her, I feel that strange physical attraction towards her, and she feels the same to me. Even though we know, that it’s unnatural, not supposed to be.
“Will you help me?”
She stares at my ears while stroking hers. I don’t even know what this means, but this is arousing.
Wait! Stop! Bad!
Even though I like Ara-san, it’s the amount of friendship I’m capable of and not an iota more! I refuse to make some stupid curse control my actions!
“Thanks!” I’m a bit more abrupt than usual. “I have to see Oro’hekk, about some afternoon training to deal with my non-existent acrophobia.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“…for them, right?”
“…phew…” I wouldn’t even do it if it weren’t for training… But even though the training is most likely eighteen times worse than it needs to be, it’s always somewhat logical. Just over the top.
Let’s see how I’ll be tortured this time…
…I don’t want to.
Deep inside the forests of Aroahenn.
“You’re almost there!” Oro’hekk exclaims while laughing. I, on the other hand, am grabbed at my ankle by a branch and being swung around through the air. “And time over, next one.” I hate this moment.
Because I’m thrown into another tree, which is catching me with its branch, just to continue my agony.
For me, it’s supposed to make me more resistant to vertigo and to cure any acrophobia I have, for Oro’hekk’s men it’s a way to train their precision with [Spirit Magic]. And to have fun.
Each of them has a minute to make me barf.
By the way, the moment I got here, I was immediately put into the spin cycle, while the explanation was given during the first two rounds.
Next time, I have to look out for the branches more. A valuable lesson.
But there is only one alfr left after the current one, and it’s Oro’hekk! He’s more bandage than alfr right now, but will be the final boss! Being in treatment because he got smashed by an oni is no reason for him to hold back!
While I try my best to hold back everything! I can’t even scream because I’ll vomit the moment I open my mouth! I know it! I don’t even know which way is up anymore, I just feel the force I’m thrown around.
I feel the moment Oro’hekk takes over. Because he just grabs me with the branches of his tree, while I’m still spun around.
Ah, that’s close! Now I know which way is down, because my face is gracing the ground! But it’s only to get enough momentum to throw me into the air.
So this is how the forest looks from above… I just hope that he will be able to catch me because I might break all my bones otherwise.
And it goes down.
I pass the treetops. Nothing. The branches are moving, but only to make me space, so I can fall unhindered.
Then the roots rise, balling up, and shooting right at me. It’ll most likely hit my stomach! Damn you!
But I evade it.
How!? No, wait, a branch has moved and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the tree.
It slowly let me descends.
“Ok, Katsuragi Kenta. You’re allowed to barf.”
I will take you up on that offer. I slowly trot to the alfar.
“Wait, he’s trying to puke on us!”
Of course I do!
But while trying to catch up to the fleeing alfar, I meet another person. “Kenta?” It’s Rine. “Are you alright? You look pale and a bit green.”
I’m about to throw up, but… I swallow it. “I feel like shit.” My mouth tastes awful, swallowing it made me even feel more nauseated, but I had to decide to either do that or to let it out, which I couldn’t. It’s Rine.
Wait, it’s Rine! I use my palm to hinder her giving me a hug. “Kenta!” She complains: “I’m just trying to be compassionate!”
“Do it from a distance!” Urgh, speaking sternly makes me feel like it’ll come up again any moment.
“Buh!” She pouts a second, but then she takes some distance and asks: “Do you want some water?”
She just fetches a waterskin from the backpack, but I’m glad that I don’t have to move. The alfar are nowhere to be seen, which probably means, that they’re hiding and watching us, to see if we’re going to have sex.
What a pain!
Well, time to wash down everything. Actually, it’s somewhat refreshing, although a much bigger pressure is building up from my stomach for a few moments. But after that first stress… “Ah.” It sinks in and I feel much better.
Now I just need to figure out, why Rine is looking at me, as… I don’t even know. But it makes me uncomfortable. She has this strange wide smile, she sighs in some strange way, and her face is a tint pinker than usual.
No other way than to ask her, huh? “What?”
“Rine, wake up!”
“…what? Did you say something?”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re just so cool, I couldn’t help it.”
I facepalm. Half out of annoyance, half out of embarrassment.
Let me see you just taking a compliment like that right into your face! Especially if you know, that you’re looking like shit now, but the compliment was sincere nonetheless.
“Two zuckies that she will jump on him.”
“I hold against that, he will jump on her!”
“You know that he can hear us at this distance, even though he’s a human?”
Ah, I was right. The alfar are just hiding and whispering with each other.
“Kenta?” Rine cocks her head, as she tries to understand what the matter is.
“Don’t mind. Just tell me why you are here.” Not like there was a mood to begin with, which could be destroyed by the alfar.
“Why I’m…” She crosses her arms and clearly tries to remember. Then her face brights up and she smiles.“I wanted to see you.”
I’m sure that she wanted to see me for a specific reason, and I’m also sure she forgot said reason. But I’m not sure, whether she tries to cover it up or is she genuinely just glad to see me. I suspect a mix of both.
“Kenta, hand!” She reaches out to me, her hand yearning for mine.
“Look, she asks him if he wants to do it with her hand.”
“So humans really do that? What’s the point?”
“Guys, he can still hear us.”
“Just look at his face, he really hears every single word.”
“Boy, just push her down, don’t mind us. We just wanted to witness the mating habits of humans once.”
“I heard that humans have really small ones.”
“Who cares about that, I want to see how breasts are used. She told us, it’s for adult stuff! So let us see!”
…I want to hit something. Or someone. Especially someone with long, pointy ears.
“Phew…” I just won’t care anymore. Let’s give them a show. I take Rine’s hand and put some force into it. “Let’s go, Rine.”
“…tehehe…” Why is she blushing like that?
“And Oro’hekk, if you make me lose my way again in the woods, I will tell Pavi’yorn to mix something else in your bandages next time!”
“…using my herbalist against me! His teacher! … I taught him so well, I can’t describe how proud I am.”
…he’s joking, right?
But nonetheless, Oro’hekk starts talking to his underlings: “Good boys and girls, report for duty. You too, Mala’warn. I know, being a guard often also means to be a voyeur, but there is a chance that the demons put a chink in our defenses for another attack.”
“Just grow a pair yourself.”
…if Oro’hekk were a human, Mala’warn could’ve sued him for sexual harassment right now. That’s not what you’d say to a woman… at least, I think Mala’warn is one.
She was walking around topless around me to see my reaction, but she’s an alfr, so there was none. Of course not, we’re from different species, and therefore sexually incompatible. It’s impossible to produce offspring! There is no biological reason, why I should be attracted to any of the alfr girls!
Plus, being topless isn’t exactly something special in alfr culture, considering their bodies. So why should I get worked up over something plain like this?
“Kenta, what are you thinking about?”
“…” Alfar, boobs, and sexual harassment, not in this order. “Is there any holiday in Feuerberg at the end of the year?”
“Of course, the Star Festival.”
“Erm… ah, I forgot that you’re from another world.”
“How can you forget, if I look totally different from you?” Skin color, the face, hair and eye colors, there was enough of a difference to let people ask if we’re even the same species.
“Yes, you look exotic, adventurous, aloof!”
Another compliment! “…back to the topic. What’s the Star Festival?”
“Hm… when the year is over, it will go to the sky, meeting up with the other years. And when there are enough, a new star is born in the sky.”
“Seriously?” I mean, this is a fantasy world, everything could be possible.
…she says it like she’s believing in Santa Claus. So most likely it’s just a myth.
“The Star Festival marks the end of winter, to say the year goodbye as it goes into the sky, while it’s also a welcome party for the new born year.”
“You’re talking like a year is a living thing.”
“It’s no- ouch!” Rine clenches her fist, but too bad it’s with the hand I’m holding! “Don’t hold my finger hostage!”
“The year is alive!”
So… either be right and have my finger crushed or just agree and avoid the pain. Logically speaking it’s the latter, but I still prefer to be right. “A year is just a concept, so-”
Rine is honest. And she is stubborn. So whenever she faces a situation, that makes her feel bad, she will do anything, which will lead to success, without a hint of pride. “The–*sob* the year is alive!” Like crying. “Stupid Kenta, stupid Kenta, waaaaaaaaah…”
This is worse than her violence!
…no actually, it’s just worse than her light anger fits which result in some pain. Her actual violence is on a level that would bring me into a hospital at best… wait, there are no hospitals, and the only ones who can perform long-term treatment around here are the alfr herbalists…
Nonetheless, while her tears are much better than her violence, I still can’t deal with them! And that wailing isn’t helping either.
“Phew…” Only one thing to do. I put my free hand on her head and pushed it down, it’s hard with our similar height, but I want her to feel the weight.
She subconsciously stems against the force I’m applying and looks at me. “…huh?”
Of course she doesn’t understand that gesture. “Don’t cry.” I won’t say that I’m sorry, but I tried to be less harsh than usual. “I don’t like it when you cry.”
Rine? I don’t like that look, I don’t like-
|You gain 1 WP.|
|A hug after a little clash helps you to reconcile more than words could ever do.|
“Aaaaah…” I repeatedly tap Rine’s back in a fast manner. Not because I was trying to calm her down, but because she is still holding my hand. Imagine how it is: You’re holding hands with someone, and then said person hugs you without letting it go. With great force!
What happens with the arm? Mine got twisted behind my back and my joints are screaming now! I’m tapping her because I want to escape, to say her to let me go! I’m tapping out!
And right now, the pain makes my body so uptight that I can hardly muster a sound! I lack the air!
“Kenta, a bit more gentle, you’re hurting me.”
Rine would be an amazing girl, a girl who cares, a girl who is honest, a girl who is incredibly pretty and has a sexy body.
But she is an idiot!
“Seriously!” My spear impales a fox with leaves as a fur, it’s called ‘leafrunner’ and one of the mobs around. I kick another one, while I let out some steam: “Just what the f*ck is wrong!” I’m pretty pissed. For several reasons.
First, I’ve realized that I missed the Christmas Sales, plus the new games I’d normally buy with my new year’s allowance. Then I was ‘trained’ by the alfar and while I’m kinda used to them messing with me, it doesn’t mean that I can silently take it!
After that, I was in Rine’s hug of pain for the rest of the time of our hand-holding session! It was almost an hour! She didn’t even notice my torture! I got a [Heal] afterward, but my joints still feel strange!
Then at home, Kyou-san decided to do the whole WP-procedure, she just had a book and read the whole time. It was quite a good idea, so I asked if I could have one as well to train my literacy of this world’s language.
And Rine handed me one, the book which was her absolute favorite, so precious that she took it with her. ‘The tale of Miriam Leise’. I asked her what kind of book it was, and she told me it was a love story, and from her descriptions, it had to be a piece of trash.
I tried to give it back to Rine, but the way she talked, the way she looked, she really wanted me to read this book. Or she would start crying again!
Ara-san swooped in after I was finished with Kyou-san also to do the few things we could agree on to collect WP. But she came with a measuring tape! She measured all of my sizes, she also asked Kyou-san and Rine to help her.
I don’t like much body-contact, dammit! But all three of them were fiddling with me!
The moment I was free, I left the forest of Aroahenn, went to one of the smaller ones around here and started my grinding. While WP-grinding is practical, it’s also time consuming.
Who the hell would hold hands for an hour!? That’s too f*cking long!
Every dead mob will be XP, but they’re draining, all three of them are draining my XP! Only a fourth, only a fourth! I try my best to raise our level, so why don’t you help! “WAAAAAAARGH!!!”
Since Kyou-san got Rine on her side, I’m not able to throw a fit anymore without endangering my health.
Frustrating, frustrating, so frustrating!
I would pray to the gods of this world to stop it, but they are the reason why I’m here in the first place, they won’t even get a snort from me! Well, maybe they will, but only unwillingly!
Yes, I make no sense, but I’m throwing a fit right now, so I don’t care!
“Haaah… haaahh…” Only few monsters escape. Ara-san thinks that monsters might exist for a reason, that they are supposed to be a constant threat to the people and a way for heroes to improve. That would explain their lack of intelligence and why only few are even trying to escape.
But in the end, I’m the last one standing, surrounded by ten of their corpses.
And it feels so good! Yes, I’ll do some occasional grinding on my own from now on. To get rid of some stress.
So, let’s harvest these guys. Their flesh and the seeds inside their skin are edible. I pluck them out using my knife, my skills have rusted a bit already. If Meldorn could see me…
Actually, grinding isn’t the main-reason why I’m here. I’m looking for smellabees, another mob around here. I’m on a quest, a farming one, but I attacked the leafrunners to clear my mind.
Because those smellabees will be dangerous.
…it hurts. All over. And it itches.
Finding the smellabees was hard enough, but there was a problem: They are only as tall as bees! Fighting them with a spear is nearly impossible! So I used my bare hands to crush them, but the number of times I was stung made me wonder, why I didn’t suffer an anaphylactic shock.
Maybe because of the hero-system?
I don’t know, but my body hurts. While taking an antidote made it much better in an instant, again a quirk of the hero-system, and drinking an HP-pot made the sting wounds disappear, I still feel it.
This makes me think that more science professors and doctors should be kidnapped into a fantasy world so that they can take a look at stuff like that and give me an explanation.
Stupid internetless fantasy world!
It’s already night, but I fulfilled the quest and got my reward.
…could it be, that this was the first actual quest I got in the fantasy world, which didn’t go haywire? If I consider my time with Meldorn and the other hunters as just training, then my first real quest was a personal one, to visit the Heißquellen-shrine during a pilgrimage to lift the curse.
Well, that didn’t go well.
Then I got the quest to find the princess and bring her back. Instead, she forced her way into the party, and I’m pretty sure that her father is pissed.
…well, I somehow protected the village and Aeolferelda, so fetching some smellabees was actually my second successful quest.
“Could you let me in already!” By the way, I’m talking to a tree. The tree of Ara-san’s house, who doesn’t move a bit the way I phrased my request. “…could you please let me in?”
Finally, the branch lowered. The tree of alfr houses are special, they have some sort of semiconscious, so that’s why even I, who can’t use [Spirit Magic] can ask them to do me a favor.
I walk up the branch, with is as thick as a table of my old school. The door made out of leaves and branches open.
|You gain 5 WP.|
|Being welcomed by your wives is a great thing, especially if they surprise you with a party!|
“Phew…” I can’t help sighing.
“What does that mean!?” The organizer of the Christmas party, Momokawa Kyou-san, is definitely offended.
“Nothing… well, you put an effort, I guess.”
All three of them, Ara-san, Rine, and Kyou-san are wearing Santa hats, at least they looked like it at a first glance, but they were made using some sort of thin cloth, not felt or something similar.
Rine isn’t wearing the leather protectors of her armor, just the suit, and an apron on top. Kyou-san has her priest garbs, Ara-san is still wearing her usual dress.
I could see in the room they decorated, the smell of food are waving to my nose, something meaty. But the decoration is very random, looks like they put some different holidays I don’t know of together and filled the rest with gauze.
This is a last-minute party and I know it. “Looks like you organized everything in a rush, Kyou-san.”
“Of course I did! I refuse to leave out Christmas for a stupid reason like being in a fantasy world!”
“Phew…” I walk to the table, branches were put there. I guess they tried to replace fir branches, but there are no needle woods in Aroahenn.
Well, whatever. I open my pouch and take the candles out. My reward for hunting smellabees, they are the raw material for candles, because I asked for a lot, I had to replace the stock.
The reason why they weren’t in the backpack is the [Shared Inventory].
But Kyou-san had to rush things.
“…let’s light them.” Of course, there are already candles here, but mine are fragrance candles, not meant to be a light-source, but for festive reasons.
The candles are burning, and our fake Christmas is a bit less… well, fake.
“Now come the presents.” Kyou-san is smiling cheekily…
Are you that desperate to get presents? Well, sorry, but no sorry. “I don’t have any.”
…why is Rine behind me?
She pushes me, right at Ara-san, who welcomes me with open arms.
|You gain 1 WP.|
|At special days, hugs should be openly given.|
“And another two.”
|You gain 2 WP.|
|The great thing about hugs is, that you can do it with all your wives at the same time!|
That Rine joins the hug was predictable. But why Kyou-san?
Too… many… too… close… My whole body goes uptight and convulses. I really, really hate that much body-contact!
There is a next phase?
|You gain 9 WP.|
|How intimate! You’re making good process, but you should also return something here!|
If someone touches you in a way that you don’t like, then it’s wrong. If someone touches you in a way that you might not like, but gives you many other feelings which are actually quite good and brings you to the brink of madness, then you should not fall into temptation.
“Enough!” I escape the ring of girls, which makes me really, really sad, but had to be done! “What’s your problem, why-”
|Momokawa Kyou chose the [Increase XP-gain]-option from the list. Do you agree this purchase?|
“Merry Christmas, Ken.”
“…who are you and what did you with Kyou-san?” Can I switch you with her?
All this grinding of WP, all these little annoyances, everything has paid out.
“And why are you treating me, like I’m not able to be kind?”
“Do I even have to explain it?”
“Ken, this is my Christmas, and I have no intention to throw the insults you deserve at you now! So just be quiet and join us for a change.”
|Katarine von Stolzherz and Ara’ainn agreed. What is your decision?.|
Is there a reason not to?
|[Increase XP-gain] purchased, base XP of the party increased to 120%.|
|[Increase XP-gain II] has been unlocked.|
“… thanks. Even though you could’ve told me.”
“Would you have agreed?”
“No way, in a few days would’ve been soon enough.”
“Kenta, Kyou, don’t fight! It’s a season of love, right?”
“…you’re right, Rine-chan. Come, let’s eat.”
It’s just a fake Christmas party, but a genuine one at the same time. Only problem: I hate Christmas parties. And I’ll totally have to unload some of the sensations I just had in a solo-session during the night. I’d better sneak out.
But somehow it’s also a bit warming.
I eat, I talk a bit, I snack on some zuckies, it’s not too bad.
Even though I won’t say it out loud.
“And this is the list for tomorrow.”
“For our New Years celebration of course. Even though we don’t have a TV… and little else… how do we do a shrine visit?”
…two days in a row?
“Will we snuggle Kenta again?”
“Will it be an orgy this time? Because then I like to be left out this time from the action and do observations.”
“…phew…” Looks like it will be busy for a while…
Extra 3 – How to have a great time with humans
I’m Ara’ainn, and I’m a young alfr hero, just 124 years old. It has been around 70 years, after I was summoned to this world to steal the knowledge of the god Datien, as one of a hundred alfar who were transported to this world from Alfarheim.
Even the children from my batch of heroes are already grown up and do their best traveling and leveling up, but it has been a year since even one of all of these heroes came back to Aroahenn. I surely hope that they remember to note down their statuses each level for me for when they come back.
I’m studying heroes and the hero-system. Knowledge can be a power, so I’m betting on it. At first, I made some great discoveries, but after a while I started to see how the things I can’t explain started to take overhand.
How does hunger work? I’m sure that the hero-system is replacing any former system of energy intake, given that while my eating habits may not be ideal, I’m still in shape, neither my flesh nor my ears show any signs of malnutrition.
Sometimes I forget to eat for days, and I won’t notice it unless I check my status, which became an activity I seldom did at some point. There is little to no interesting information there, I haven’t learned a new skill or spell in years.
I have a theory, that the moment I start raising my level once again I will learn new skills once more, and that was one of the reasons why I left my current lifestyle.
Another one would be, that my research is not going well. I had a theory, a formula, I’ve worked for more than a year to measure up the amount of AP I got, whenever I used a skill or spell. Because the increase was nonlinear, I believed that it had to do with the current rank and the amount of SP or MP used in the process.
I was calculating using [Elemental Magic], I always use [Create Water] each time I wake up to drink some because it’s an unnecessary activity to get some from the house. And of course [Dry] to dry my clothes, whenever I spit the water I created. Or [Fan], when it is too hot to think.
After having a good idea of the rate of increase in relation to my Rank, I went on with the [Create Water] and [Boil] combination, which made it possible to fill the basin with water and heat it up to wash my clothes. But too bad that I had no spell to do the movements, so I just left them in the hot water for an hour or so.
Using combat spells, like [Tidal Wave], isn’t much different, but the moment I used it in combat, there was an irregularly. This threw me back, and now I’m lamenting my failure of a theory.
Of course there are other fields I’m looking into, to be precise 126. I could list them all, but all are about heroes in one way or another, and I don’t make many improvements in any. So I decided to refresh my mind and get some more data.
And that’s why I’m currently on a journey, together with Oro’hekk and Aera’jos.
Oro’hekk is one of the best warriors in Aroahenn, so he’s here for my protection. But even though I’m more of a researcher than a hero, I still consider myself being able to handle most dangers by myself.
Aera’jos is here for his training. He doesn’t like me because I’m an outsider. I can agree with that attitude, I also have often problems to understand the alfar of this world. They are strange and consider physical harm as an appropriate prank.
A true prank toys with the mind and the emotions of the person, who you are becoming friendly with. It can be physical as well, but it should be harmless there, more directed to make the target suffer by anguish and not by pain.
Bringing it down to a purely physical level is barbaric.
These discrepancies make me, even after spending about seventy years here, still feel like an alien in this world. Additionally, this world lacks some basic needs. Like Aeolfereldas, the trees that generate spirit particles, and therefore make a civilized society possible.
My head feels so lonely without the whole system made using them and [Spirit Magic] that could connect me with the information of alfrkind. Not only knowledge but also memories and even thoughts that people shared with the system.
It also had an entertaining factor. And could be used to organize about everything.
Not speaking about giving plants a semi-conscious, making them subservient to the Ljos and handling many of the physical tasks.
In this world, everything is… primitive. And it has the ability to make people adapt to this.
There are even humans here. And it seems like they’re multiplying at such a speed, that they have started to crowd out other species.
How many alfr did they already rape?
In general, humans might not be like this, but it’s hard not to recall all these stories about them I heard home. They were just a myth, now seeing their inalfr appearance is very concerning.
And there are other races, like the cute folkmen, the smelly hynoars, the muddy and greedy dari, everything which stems from fantasy and fairy tales.
But back to my journey. I’m traveling to Zethtrin, a rather large city here. I heard from my hero-colleagues, that there are many tomes with interesting content, so I like to see them. And buy some, for my research. Or maybe steal them, depending on how welcoming Zethtrin is.
Because… “Sorry, we don’t serve alfar here…” we just got an answer like that, as we tried to stop by at an inn in this human town. I’m already tired and want to rest, but now we’re treated like this.
Aera’jos is really offended by that human’s attitude: “What does that mean, huh? Are we not good enough, duman?”
“No, it’s just that the guests-” Humans certainly have really strange expressions. Those eyebrows… how can someone move them like that?
“So if we get rid of your guests, we can stay?”
“…no! Please not! I’ll do anything!” For some reason, the human surprisingly quickly caved in.
“Wait, Aera’jos. That’s not how we talk to people.” Oro’hekk is always a source of calmness. He looks the inn proprietor directly in the eyes. “Human, I know that you don’t want to include us in your orgies and I’m fine with it. I don’t have the need to see you and your guests mating with each other, so I won’t complain about that. So could you please tell us where we can find another inn, with no orgies included? Because I like to get some sleep at night.”
Oro’hekk speaks in a loud and clear voice, which made many people outside the inn listen to him. And many of them are looking at the proprietor with some sort of disgust.
Of course, Oro’hekk is just joking. But looking at the dumans how they took his words at face value, it makes me thinking: Do they believe this joke, because it’s too close to the truth?
Humans are strange.
We left the inn without any concrete answer from the proprietor.
“Looks like another night camping.”
“Should we set the town ablaze?”
“Not worth the effort.”
Oro’hekk and Aera’jos are arguing how to show the town their discontent.
I yawn while walking, thinking how I just want to have a bed. Preferably at the highest floor. Sleeping outside is rather uncomfortable.
“Don’t be so grim.” Aera’jos’ irritating voice grinds on my ears, while his spirit is certainly eiron. To discern the emotions of an alfr is very natural by listening to their voice and feeling the current state of their spirit.
“… Oro’hekk, Aera’jos is teasing me.”
“Did you say to him, that you don’t like it?”
“Did you put something in his underwear, which is either itching or scratching?”
“So how should he know. You have to show him.”
“Can’t I just freeze his ears while he’s asleep?”
“NO, YOU CAN’T!”
Oro’hekk sighs. “…Aera’jos, you should not complain about every little thing.”
“She’s just soft! I mean, she’s doing nothing all day!”
Why does he think like that? “Just because you can’t read, it doesn’t mean that reading isn’t work. Or writing. Or comparing all these tales with many, many scripts, and doing all the formulas, and-”
“I can read!”
“So why don’t you help me? Wait a minute…”
“Ara’ainn, while it’s OK to give Aera’jos so many books that he can’t carry them anymore, please refrain from doing so in the middle of the street. People are looking at us in wonder and disgust.”
“Oro’hekk, I think it’s because you’ve just urinated on a dog, while we were still arguing.”
“…the dog started first.”
A rather boisterous man with a thick beard is rushing towards the group of three alfar. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KLEMM!?”
“So you’re the owner of the dog?”
“YES, I AM!!!”
“I’m sorry about that, I completely forgot how humans do this. Each owner has to take responsibility for their pet’s action, right?”
“…why are you pointing that… that thing at me?”
“It’s called ‘penis.’ Why are you humans always like that, swinging around your stuff like that, while not even naming it properly?”
“Wait, do- eeeks! How dare you!”
“Hey, duman!” Aera’jos draws his bow and points an arrow at the human. “Urine is one of the most sterile fluids of the alfr body. So it’s a thousand times better than he spitting on you. But if you got that kind of fetish…”
I’m too tired to deal with this lack of style. “Aera’jos, I don’t think that’s the point of the human. And Oro’hekk, you’re one of the best rangers of Aroahenn, so don’t do something this unsightly.”
“No, she’s right, Aera’jos. Humans are strange, so we should try to be the bigger alfar here. And next time, I’ll climb up a roof, before pissing on people. More challenge.” Oro’hekk takes a package made from leaves from his belt pouch and put it into the hands of the human. “I apologize. The feces of the moleton is a strong smelling salt, so if you’re tired from all that mating, just take a sniff and you’re good to go another two rounds.”
Oro’hekk is giving the human a real practical present here.
But for some reason: “GUARDS!!!” This happens.
“And why did we exactly let ourselves being caught?” This is a question Aera’jos ask. “I mean, why didn’t we just kill all the dumans?”
“Because it’ll be a hassle in the future. You might not like it, but humans are many, and as long as they have an enemy, they’ll destroy it in mad delight.” Oro’hekk is certainly an experienced man.
Humans are said to be crazy. They’re completely controlled by their desires, which makes them so dangerous.
I’m more concentrating on the matter at hand, instead of complaining. Especially, since I like to know if I can catch some sleep or have to stay awake for a while. “So, what do you suggest, Oro’hekk?”
“Just wait until someone with actual authority calls out to us. Then we can either talk or take him hostage.”
“I can hear you, you know?” A sighing human with a beard looks at us. I think only male ones grow these, for some illogical reason. He wears a chain shirt, with a club and a short sword at his waist. “Which one of you is the person in charge?”
I point at Oro’hekk, while he and Aera’jos point at me. Then my finger wanders to myself since I realized that they are technically just my bodyguards, while I’m the one who undergoes the journey.
“So the girl? Good, I’ll unlock the cell for you. And you two, just stay away from the door.”
The human in charge is leading me to another room with a small table. I sit on a chair, it’s strangely dead. Like all furniture here. Humans are strange, why kill off all these plant lives?
“Good girl, what’s your name?”
“Who are you referring to?”
“You, of course.”
“I’m not a girl, I’m a woman.”
“…fine, woman, what’s your name.”
“Where I come from, we introduce ourselves before asking the name of another.”
“…I’m captain of the guard, Olle Hoff.”
“You pronounce it ‘Olle Hoff’.”
“Olle’hoff, what a sorry name. What did you do to deserve the ‘hoff’?”
“It’s just a surname.”
“Yes, but why ‘hoff’? Did you break your bones often, when you were a child?”
“Girl- …Lady, I’m the one asking the questions.”
“This may be the case, but I can’t help but thinking about how unfortunate you are. Olle’hoff, that kind of name is really, really pitiable.”
“Are you pulling my leg?”
“That may be a fetish of yours, but I can ensure you, that it’s not my intention. While you humans might be exciting to undress us alfar with your eyes, and imagining sexual intercourse with us, humans are very unattractive for us.”
“What are you even talking about?”
“I tried to say to you in a roundabout way that humans are ugly for alfar.”
“But this isn’t the topic right now!”
“So it’ll be the topic later on? Poor me, being an object of lust for some hairy human. But don’t think that I won’t resist.”
The captain of the guard holds his head while murmuring. “My predecessor warned me about you guys…”
Of course, I could easily catch it. “Do your predecessor already knew about us? How? Was he that capable of [Divination]? A natural born? Or maybe even a hero?”
This exchange goes on for a while, as the poorly named Olle’hoff begins to complain about a headache.
But my lack of sleep is becoming more and more prominent. “Olle’hoff, I’m starting to get tired, so could we continue this conversation later? You also look tired” In fact, Olle’hoff has his head on the table, while he is a bit teary-eyed.
“Uhhuhhh.” And for some reason, he starts to hit the tabletop several times with his fist.
Then a loud bell rings outside the building. An alarm, maybe.
“Olle’hoff, what is this?”
“Just the monster alert. Go back to your cell.”
“There is no bed.”
“There’s a cot!”
“Only one, so do you expect me to share it with my companions? I know, that humans are very open about things like that, but we alfar-”
“ARGH! Just shut up!”
“Olle’hoff, I thought we’re closer than that.”
“I want to say so much right now, but I have to go to the city wall!” He roughly grabs my arm and pulls me with him.
I change my class to [Acrobat] and sweeps Olle’hoff from his feet. Then I change back to [Druid] and point at his head. “[Watergun]!” Rendering him unconscious.
Taking his keys, I go back to the cells, while shooting the other guards with magic as well.
Aera’jos and Oro’hekk are still in the cell, playing ‘spirit struggle’, an alfr game which is only played by adults when they have a lot of time with nothing to do. The goal of the game is to conquer the opponent’s spirit, but as adults have a very tight control of their own spirits, it can take days to weeks to finish one game.
“Should I wait until you’re finished?” Oro’hekk has currently the upper hand, but it doesn’t say much, as this is a contest of discipline, endurance, and patience.
“You don’t need to. Is the bell a monster alert?”
“Why are you here with the keys then?”
“Olle’hoff tried to pull me somewhere while being in a big hurry to go to the city walls.”
“So he wanted to do a quicky?”
“I think so.”
“I see. So you had to take him out. Then breaking out of prison is the smart move.”
I unlock the cell and retrieve our equipment from the storage. But as we do so, another bell begins to chime.
It’s near this building, but it’s unlikely that they noticed our prison break.
We step out of the building and see turmoil on the streets, two groups of humans fighting each other.
Why? I’m curious.
I go to the nearest group, these people are wearing chain shirts, just like Olle’hoff, while shooting crossbows. “Who are you fighting with?”
“…who are you?”
“Answering a question with another question is very impolite.”
“Please, we need back-up! You, and your friends, you’re good, right? Elves are superb combatants, right?”
“I don’t know, never met one.”
“Don’t kid me, these suckers are about to overwhelm us! Most of the guards are protecting this city from the monsters, but these assholes just waited for that opportunity!”
“…and what are we supposed to do?”
“Shoot! Shoot with your bows, use your magic, I don’t care!”
I go back to Oro’hekk and Aera’jos. “This human is asking us to shoot.”
“Which ones? They look all the same to me.”
“The ones they’re shooting at.”
“Did you talk to the other side?”
“No, there is a bit of a crossfire going on.”
“I see no reason to interfere here… but I can’t say no to someone who asks for help.”
“Really?” Aera’jos is very dissatisfied. “Why should we help them?”
“Because we’re better than humans… …this is no good.” Oro’hekk is right, the crossbow fire already ended, and now both sides are engaged in melee combat.
The real problem is: They really look all the same! Well, except the few with chain shirts, but the rests are wearing leather armor, so it’s hard to distinguish it.
“Leave it to me.” I lift my staff and use [Empower] from the [Arcana]-ability while chanting a spell. My MP are drained fast, but this will make the spell stronger in the process. Two spells are still better, but casting time is an issue.
Plus, I have plenty of MP. I feel how something surrounds me, it’s so unlike the magic I’m used to, some power that may not even exist in Alfarheim.
Each word of my chant transforms this power into something else, it creates the necessary conditions of the environment to make it possible to even cast the actual spell. A hundred small spells, which are only there to make the big one possible.
A large quantity of water crashes at the humans from above, not distinguishing friends from foes. All humans in the street are washed away, most of them are coughing, either because of the impact or because they choked water.
But still using [Empower] I use the next spell. “[Freeze]! [Freeze]! [Freeze]!” It’s only a weak spell, but [Empower] make it possible to freeze enough to hinder the humans.
Now that they’re immobilized, it’s time to use the next spell.
This time a rather simple and weak one. “[Plant Whip]!” This time my staff begins to unwind, as one of the branches lashes out, knocking another human unconscious.
“…she kicks ass.” Aera’jos voice and spirit tell me that he’s positively surprised.
“She may not look like it, but she’s a hero, after all.” Oro’hekk shrugs.
Both of them are drawing their bone swords to help me.
This is good because I feel how my sight blurs and the sounds begin to echo. It’s hard to keep my eyes open.
Ah, both of them have it under control.
Time to take a break.
I sit down on the ground and doze off…
The moment I open my eyes, I’m carried by Aera’jos.
Where am I? Ah, somewhere outside. I’m surrounded by spirits, the simple ones. Plants and animals.
It seems like we got out of the town.
So I can take another nap, right?
“Ara’ainn. I know you’re awake.”
Of course he does, I didn’t hide it. He can also read my spirits, especially if I’m that close to him.
“*yawn* Something I should know?”
“Nothing serious. But we should avoid that place for a while.”
“Where is Oro’hekk?”
“He’s scouting ahead. Not like people like dumans can track us.”
“I see… So another night camping?”
“Another night camping.”
“I want to sleep in a bed. It’s uncomfortable sleeping on the ground, and I don’t have enough control to make myself a bed with magic.”
“…seriously… you’re living at your own pace, right?”
“Whose pace should I live at otherwise? I’m just me.”
“You really need someone to take care of you…”
“Yes, a servant would be great.”
“…you’re still tired, right? Keep on sleeping.”
“I’ll do so. Thank you.”
What a strange day this was today. But other than that, nothing interesting came out of it.
There were no heroes other than myself involved, after all.