Extra 1

kentusrpg: “The poll was a success, we got 150 votes in total (including RoyalRoad and my blog) and now we will announce the results.”

Kyou: *bow* “Thank you for your support.”

Kenta: “By the way, isn’t it bothersome to have the names right next to the text?”

Kyou: “And how are the readers to suppose to guess who’s talking, if we don’t put our names there?”

Kenta: “How about different speech colors?”

kentusrpg: “Denied. Too lazy.”

K: “How about only using the first letter of the first name?”

K: “…”

K: “…”

K: “Doesn’t work.”

MK: “So let’s use our initials.”

KK: “Seems appropriate.”

God: “Since my pen name is more or less a bunch of initials, I’ll use that instead.”

KK&MK: “”Denied.””

krpg: “*sigh* back to the topic. After assessing the data, we have an overwhelming result. From 150 votes, only 5,33% care about the Kenta-only-story, with 8 votes!”

KK: “What’s wrong with these people! I’m the main character, dammit! You all suck! Except you 8 guys, you’re cool!”

MK: “Don’t blame the readers. It’s just the proof, that nobody likes you. In general.”

KK: “Don’t act so high and mighty! How many votes were about stories, which concerns only you, huh!?”

krpg: “Actually, more than half. 84 people, that’s 56%.”

KK: “Admit it, readers, it’s just because Kyou-san’s a girl! You sexists!”

MK: “Don’t lash out at them either. These nice people just know how to evaluate a person. *turning to the readers* Thank you! I’ll do my best.”

krpg: “Well, it was a head-to-head race between these two stories the whole time, and it ended up in a tie. So I did something in between, granting more insight, instead of writing something entirely new. I hope that you’ll like it.”

KK: “Yes, exactly what we needed: More Kyou-san.”

MK: “Don’t pout.”

krpg: “*ignore* Now there are three things I want to add. First, there were some people, who voted for ‘Others’. But without comments or PMs, I can only hardly address it. If you voice your wish, I may include it in the next poll.”

KK: “Next?”

krpg: “Yes, I’d like to add something at each volume if possible. And I can at least ask the readers for what they’d like to read.”

MK: “So Kenta will suffer defeat multiple times. I like it.”

KK: “Bitch!”

MK: “You’re just a sore loser.”

krpg: “Quiet, both of you. I have a last announcement.”

MK: “Is it about me?”

krpg: “Among others.”

KK: “Just spit it out and get over it.”

krpg: “Yes, yes. *clearing his throat* Since I got a private message, which really inspired me, I decided to put another Extra in, a variation of ‘Kenta and Kyou in a game show’. It’ll be an interview instead, which is quickly written and a bit of non-canonical comedy.”

MK: “Good for you, Ken. You’re not entirely useless!”

KK: “Shut up!”

krpg: “Please, may I continue? … In future, I want to add a non-canon and a canon Extra in my volumes, so there will be two polls in the near future. The first will be, when I publish the prologue of the second volume: There you may vote for the non-canonical content. And after introducing the next main-character, I’ll add another poll for the canonical.”

KK: “Another main-character?”

MK: “Why do I get a bad feeling about it?”

KK: “For me it’s less of a feeling and more of a certainness.”

krpg: “Well, you two, just like the readers, have to wait for the second volume.”

KK: “I’ll hate it as much as the first one, right?”

krpg: “What an optimistic attitude!”

KK: “…please re-“

krpg: “And without further intermission, let’s announce the results of the poll and start the first extra, the interview!”

KK: “Wa-“

Topic Votes
A story about Kyou and her frustration about leveling up before meeting Kenta again. 42 (28%)
A story about Kyou, when she was transferred to the fantasy world and her time with Inoue Masahiko and her other friends. 42 (28%)
A non-canon story about Kenta and Kyou visiting a TV-show for lovers 24 (16%)
A story about Kenta and Kyou back in high-school 24 (16%)
Other 10 (6,67%)
A story about Kenta’s time with the hunters. 8 (5,33%)

Extra 1 – Love is Gold Episode 1

Announcer (A): “Welcome to ‘Love is Gold’, the show which shows the true colors of each relationship. Today we’re welcoming a young, Japanese couple, Momokawa Kyou and Katsuragi Kenta.”


KK: “…”

MK: “…”

A: “How sweet. You’re so shy, that you won’t even look at each other. Please, sit down. There are a ton of questions, I have to ask.”

KK: “Spare me.”

A: “Let’s begin! Could you please tell us something about you, first?

KK: “Phew. Katsuragi Kenta, 16 years old.”

A: “Sixteen? You can’t be married by law, yet, you know? But well, this show isn’t about legality, but about love.”

KK: “Then why am I here?”

A: “To show us your hapiness.”

KK: “There is nothing to show.”

A: “Ah, so shy. Want to keep it all to yourself.”

KK: “…nevermind.”

A: “And what about your lovely wife?”

KK: “Who are you talking about?”

MK: “I think, he just got the ‘wife’-part wrong. My name is Momokawa Kyou, also sixteen years old.”

A: “So we have a pair of newlyweds. How did you first met?”

MK: “In highschool. We were in the same class.”

A: “Were? Did you elope?”

MK: “More like kidnapped.”

A: “How dramatic!”

KK: “Rather annoying.”

A: “Introductions are closed and we begin the real deal. What do you like about each other?”

KK: “… … The way she is, when she doesn’t talk.”

MK: “For me, it’s ‘nothing’.”

A: “Man, you make it hard. What is your favorite activity as a couple?”

MK: “Being apart.”

A: “And what are you doing, if you’re alone?”

KK: “Being happy.”

A: “Well, that’s certainly something. What makes your relationship work?”

MK: “Not having one.”

A: “Seriously, please work with me here.”

KK: “Then stop rubbing salt into our misery.”

A: “I don’t do that. … How was your first date?”

KK: “Does count being constantly being in life-and-death struggles as date?”

MK: “If so, then never take me on a date again.”

A: “Ah, there is a bit of crack in your relationship, it seems. So what would be your favorite future development?”

KK: “Divorce.”

MK: “His funeral.”

A: “I know, that it can be difficult when the first problems arise, but you can fight through.”

MK: “Fight through? So it’s alright, if I kill him in the process?”

KK: “Try me!”

A: “I get the feeling, that you’re not shy, but rather hate each other.”

MK: “Finally you get it.”

A: “Then why did you marry at the first place?”

KK: “It was an accident.”

A: “An accident? Were you drunk?”

MK: “I wish.”

KK: “This would’ve make more sense than what actually happened.”

A: “Would you like to share?”

MK: “I’d rather like to trade.”

KK: “Hey, you’re the one, who profit from it the most!”

MK: “And suffer from it the most as well.”

KK: “Oh yeah!? What about me!?”

A: “Erm…”

MK: “Ken, I know that living a single day of your life is more torture than I can ever imagine, but happiness and suffering are relative. So for someone like you, a bit of inconvenience doesn’t make much difference.”

A: “Momokawa-san, that-”

KK: “THAT’S IT! Announcer, love is a war, right!? Let me kill my enemies!”

A: “Security! Security!”

Extra 2 – Forsaken

«Welcome Heroes, we need you. You have to save the world from the evil demons, which wage war against humanity and the other races of light. You’ve been chosen to stand against the demons, but do not fear. People of your world become very powerful in this one and the reward is great. Each of you will have a manual which explains how your new powers work. The reward is a single, perfect wish for those, who slay the demon lord and end the war, plus everything you accomplished in that world. You will be transported to Feuerberg’s capital, Esse. Help the king and his people.»

These words spoken by an unisex voice were, what led me and my classmates in this world. For someone like me, who wasn’t in all that fantasy-stuff, it was too much information in too little time.

The world shifted, and after all that blinding light vanished, I opened my eyes and realized, that the entire class was transported into another world. It was nothing, that needed to be said, I just knew.

“Teru-chan, Eri-chan, everyone! Are you alright?” My first concerns were for my friends. The small Teru-chan, the smart Eri-chan, the strong Yamauchi-kun, the quiet Kita-kun and finally Masahiko-kun, who can befriend almost everyone.

“Everything is alright, Kyou.” Masahiko-kun rubbed his eyes, but smiles. He’s the sort of person, whose smile can wash away all your worries. Even though he calls me by my first name, we’re just friends. That handsome boy was just someone, who can shorten any distance in a way, that won’t bother you.

“Don’t worry, class president.” Yamauchi-kun shrugged everything off with a small laughter. He was always easily influenced by Masahiko-kun. His stubble-hair and the fact, that he had almost half more flesh and muscles about everywhere, made him look so persistant as the mountain, he’s named after.

“I feel sick.” Eri-chan’s eyes were rolling. She had a ponytail and even though it looked like she had an athletic body, she was actually quite clumsy und uncoordinated.

“Geez, you were always weak to rides.” Masahiko-kun is patting Eri-chan’s head, her ponytail was wagging like a dog’s tail. Both of them are childhood-friends, but wasn’t that too much?

Well, I did the same for Teru-chan, who’s small and cute. “Kyou-chan, please stop that.” Everytime I saw her, I just had to treat her like a pet.

Kita-kun didn’t say anything, but looked a bit pale. It’s hard to describe Kita-kun, he’s reserved and not very noticable, so he often remained in the background.

But everyone was somewhat alright.

I took a look around, the teachers and most of my classmates weren’t in a good conditions either. Some of them were groaning, others couldn’t see well, and others were looking around, as if they were surrounded by enemies.

Well, surrounded we were. By peoples in white robes. “Thanks the gods, the heroes are here!” The one who spoke, put his hands together in delight.

It was hard to call them anything else than priests. I could see, how many of them were sweating, exhausted by whatever they did.

“We’re sorry to summon you, but we need you, heroes.”

Heroes? This remembered me of the words, that unisex voice spoke. It did call us heroes. as well. While I could easily accept the fact, that we were in another world, being called hero still seemed strange.

The priests explained the situation roughly. We were summoned to defeat demon lord and end the war, since the people of this kingdom, Feuerberg, aren’t capable of this. It’s an act of the gods, who answered the relentless prayers of the priests.

But before that, we would need to become stronger, using the power of heroes.

The teachers were brought before the king, who wanted originally to have an audience with all of us, but for security reasons, only few could meet them at a time. Our teachers were the ones who wanted to do so first, since they’re the adults.

But I didn’t seriously think that they could do anything at that point. Normally, I would have surely cling to the teachers, but for some reason I just thought, that they wouldn’t be able to solve any of the problems, we were going to face. Maybe facing a crisis like this made me think more self-reliant.

Actually, I even felt a bit excited. Being summoned, wielding the power of heroes, this is something that would only happen in anime. Even I did watch some as a child, and sometimes even I dreamed about being a heroine from a kid’s show. And now it could become true.

But this joy got dampened. After Saegusa-sensei explained how we have to earn our life-expenses and would either join the combat group or the research group, everything became a bit more real.

So we had to decide. Me and my friends considered our options.

“Eri-chan, you may definitely join the research group.” She was smart, so she may actually put this knowledge into practice.

“But what about Masa?”

“I’ll join the combat group.”

“Then I’ll do the same.”

“Eri. It’ll be dangerous.”

“For me to let you do this on your own.”

“I’m thankful, but I’d rather like you girls to join the research group.” Masahiko-kun smiled wrily.

Sadly, I don’t have any talent, which might proof useful.

Even the fat Yamaguchi-san had something, her parents are cooks in a restaurant and she could cook so well, that she would helps out there sometimes. These skills, and her knowledge about the recipes, might come in handy for strengthening the food quality and widening the possible food sources. To add some Japanese food to this western country in the lomng run.

My grades aren’t bad, but I’m only good at learning. I never had any interests in science or other subjects. Otherwise, I couldn’t think of anything, which would prove useful in this medieval fantasy world.

So basically, I’m already set on combat-group.

Kita-kun, Yamauchi-kun and Masahiko-kun would join the combat-group as well. Masahiko-kun was good at sports and almost everything and liked to put his talents to use. The other two wanted to support him.

Eri-chan would also join the combat-group.

“I’m interested how much I can improve myself. I’ll also join.” Teru-chan, the small, cute Teru-chan, would also join us. She was always dissatisfied with her height and all the problems it brought. Now she could overcome them, using the powers of heroes.

“Then it’ll be the six of us.” It couldn’t be so bad, if I was with everyone.

The training was hell. The instructor, a bulky and old man, pushed our bodies beyond their limits. But after watching Katsuragi the first day, everyone was pumped to be not as pathetic as him.

Katsuragi stayed away after his sorry performance. Nobody missed him, so everyone thought he just skipped. We would learn much later, that he actually vanished after the first day, after questioning his roommates and the servants in the castle.

Not that his disappearance would make a difference.

After two weeks of training, everyone of us got the basic stamina and we had to decide where to train.

“I guess, it’s better to focus on certain roles. Nobody could possibly cover everything alone.” Masahiko-kun explained his thoughts. It was already settled, that the six of us would form a big party. “I played some games with a similiar system, so if we go by my knowledge, half of us should excel in melee combat.”

“Half? So many?”

“Yes, since there will be some, who won’t be able to handle close combat and need to be protected, like mages. The more melee fighters we have, the more space we can cover.”

“I want to be able to fight!” Teru-chan already decided.

“Teru-chan, you shouldn’t. You can’t even stay calm in arguments, so you may stand in the way.” I tried to change her mind, she’s not suited for weapons!

“Class president is right, Kurosawa-san.” Yamauchi-kun was also uncomfortable. “It’s a job for men.”

“Don’t give me that. I will be fine and we need three to protect the rest. And we can’t rely solely on you boys, because Kita-kun should do archery.” She was right. Kita-kun was kyudo-club member, so choosing archery seemed to be appropriate. “So one girl have to do it.”

“Let her, if she wants to.” Eri-chan’s smile was a bit crooked, but in the end, nobody could stop Teru-chan. That’s what she decided on and she is stubborn. Hopefully, she will change her mind and pick another class at some later point.

So the front-line was decided: Masahiko-kun, Yamauchi-kun and Teru-chan. Kita-kun approved to become an archer.

“What’s left?”

“Most likely spell attacks and magical healing.” For me, it was clear. I couldn’t imagine myself killing monsters at this point, so I wanted to take a seat back and help my friends by supporting them.

Eri-chan would be taught by the magicians, while I’d train with the priests, who wields the [Divine Magic], which is able to cure wounds instantly. Masahiko-kun and the rest would continue their training with the instructor. Everything seemed to be alright.


Another week passed and there we were: Masahiko-kun, the [Fighter], Yamauchi-kun, the [Warrior], Teru-chan, the [Soldier], Kita-kun, the [Archer], Eri-chan the [Wizard] and me, the [Priest].

I wasted one of my class-slots in the process, but I that was the fault of the hero-system! Who would’ve thought, that the [Healer]-class wouldn’t include magical healing? I still have one slot left, though, so it wasn’t that bad.

All of us gathered to hunt some monsters. The ones around the capital were weak, so it was alright to do it on our own. We needed to gain experience in moving as a party and the soldiers of Feuerberg have other things to do, like ensuring that only weak monsters would remain in the vicinity.

And they were diligent. Even finding one of these weak monsters was problematic, since there are so few left, it took just too much time. Only after two hours of walking we saw some.

Two snakes, big enough to eat a cat in whole, with a violet pattern on their scales. The instructor told us about the monsters around here, so we knew what they were: The weak violet snakes, which aren’t even poisonous.

“Uaaaargh!” With a wide arc, Yamauchi swings his axe, but misses by around a foot. “Erm…” Then he got smacked by its tail. “Ouch, ouch!” It doesn’t seem to hurt much, so I can ignore that as the healer.

“[Dirt Sling]!” Eri-chan aims at the same snake with her wand and a bit of earth broke free from the ground, clustering itself to a bullet, which blasts towards its target.

But Yamauchi-kun was busy trying to hit the snake and steps in the line of fire of Eri-chan’s spell, not being aware of what he’s doing. He was missed by a hair’s breadth, while the snake was long gone from the point Eri-chan aimed to: “Where are you aiming.”

“Daichi!” Masahiko-kun engaged the other snake, which was about to jump Yamauchi-kun. He parried the attack with one of his swords, but was thrown back by the impact, right into the bulky Yamauchi-kun, who toppled and fell in the process.

“Hm.” Without hesitation, Kita-kun unleashed an arrow from his bow and hit a snake, which tried to attack the prone ones. The arrow hit the target in the side and with a fluent movement, Kita-kun drew another arrow. But hesitated to shoot, looking at Teru-chan, who tried to get herself into melee combat.

Masahiko-kun jumps right on his feet and moved his arms, as if he tried to shake off pain. “Good job, Katsuo!” While one snake was in pain, the other was about to attack again, but Masahiko-kun interfered by wildly slashing both of his swords at her. “Everyone, try to take the other one down! I keep this one busy!”

Teru-chan was sidestepping before, unsure when and where to engage, but now she thrusts her spear at the shot snake. Her spear didn’t pierce far. “It’s hard!”

I could see the faces of the three, Teru-chan, Yamauchi-kun and Masahiko-kun, who tried to take on the snakes in melee. The faces full of fear, insecurity and, for some reason, joy.

Then finally, Yamauchi-kun stood up and decapitated the wounded snake with one strike. “That easily!?”

As my eyes were wandering back to Masahiko-kun, he was already dealing the finishing blow to the other one. “…puh. Is everyone alright?”

Eri-chan shook her head. “That were the easy ones?”

Yamauchi-kun muttered: “If you could aim better…”

“What are you saying?”

I interfered: “Stop, both of you. This was our first battle, so of course there is room for improvement. Yamauchi-kun, let me tend your wounds.” With a single [Heal], I performed first aid. “Masahiko-kun, you’re next.”

“Thank you. Good work, everyone. We should debrief this fight.” Masahiko-kun was always someone, who took the initiative if needed.

There were already some discontents between Yamauchi-kun and Eri-chan and the former criticized the teamwork in general, like how Kita-kun took his time for shooting. “I can’t shoot an arrow, when you’re moving around like crazy.”

I can already see the problem. “It’s a lack of communication. We should address it.”

Next fight, a single violet snake.

“Yamauchi-kun,-” “I’ll take-” “Wait, Kita-” “Give me-” “I’m about-” “Everyone, one-” “-aside!” “-the back” “- I’m almost!” “-room” “-to attack!” “-after another!”

We defeated it, but each of us calling into the battle made it even more difficult to coordinate our movements.

“We need a leader.” Masahiko-kun is debriefing wryly. “I’ll propose Kyou.”

“Me?” Why should I take that responsibility?

““Her?”” The other to girls were as surprised as me.

“Why, Masa?” Yamauchi-kun asked calmly, while Kita-kun just shrugged his shoulders.

“Because Kyou is not engaged in combat, she can concentrate on what’s going on everywhere. It should make it easier to coordinate everyone.”

“I may be the class president, but I have no experience in giving orders.”

“Kyou, you can do it.”

“Hear me out. I’m already overwhelmed by watching. I think you would be the better leader, Masahiko-kun?”


Everyone, myself included, nodded. Masahiko-kun is a natural born leader and if he had been running for class president, he would have surely been voted. He just didn’t want to.

People flocked around him. So it only seemed natural for him to give the calls.

The person in question… “Please don’t look at me like that. … Geez. Alright, we can try it. But under one condition.” Everyone of us waited tensely for his next words. “We’re more than friends now, we’re a party. So let’s call each other on a first name basis. It’s for our teamwork!”

And with this, we grew closer again. Our teamwork polished and with only small start-up problems, Masahiko-kun became a dependable leader.

It didn’t take long, until… “OOOOH!” Yamauchi- … Daichi-kun gained a level. “I feel stronger!”


“I got a skill!”

Joyous days of taking time to adjust to this lifestyle.

“You know.” Masahiko-kun shared his thoughts. “We’re supposed to travel at some point, so I think, it would be good to learn classes, which makes it easier and more enjoyable.”

I approved. “A good idea. Maybe we should talk with the soldiers in the castle, what would be needed on a long journey.”

There were several things.

Daichi-kun: “I’ll take [Blacksmith], we need to be able to mend and repair our equipment.”

Katsuo-kun: “[Leatherworker].”

Eri-chan: “I think something like [Merchant] would be good. We need to restock and such and maybe there are some [Abilities], which could lower the prices.”

Teru-chan: “I guess, someone who is able to set up camp, hunt and such will come in handy. I’ll learn with the scouts of the kingdom, maybe there is a [Scout]-class.”

Me: “It would be good to have a good meal every day. I read about [Cook] in the manual, so I’ll get that class.”

Masahiko-kun: “I wanted to try the [Blacksmith] as well. What to do… [Carpenter]?”

“Maybe something like [Diplomat]?”

“Another good idea. Well, there are still some other good jobs out there.”

We hunted some monsters every day, slowly increasing our level and getting used to fighting and living in this world. Well, everyone’s level increases except mine.

“Maybe the [Priest]-class has such a high XP-requirement?” Masahiko-kun suggested that idea. It was possible. There was a different pacing in leveling for everyone, after all. Magic-users may need more experience before leveling up.

But it didn’t increase, while Masahiko-kun just hit level 10.

At the beginning of our hunting, I had sometimes to step in, when the rest were in trouble, but it became less frequent.

But that one time, in our first fight against wolfhoppers, I had to help Eri-chan, who was constantly attacked by these strange furry grasshoppers, which distracted her so much, that she couldn’t cast a single spell.

I killed one of them. And gained a level.

“Finally, Kyou!” Masahiko-kun put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s your time.”

“Actually…” I already had an idea. Our party-progression was uneven, because everyone got a different kill count.

So I needed to kill monsters by myself, to increase my level. And to do so, I had to fight. And for fighting, I needed a class which supports me in that, since even though I wasn’t bad at sports, I was not good either. My body was unsuited for fighting!

And I don’t have any class-slots left.

I… can’t. I can’t level up like the others.

Later at the same day, I was about to knock on Masahiko-kun’s door, so that I can talk to him.

“ERI!” But before my hand even touched the door, I could hear asahiko-kun’s angry voice behind the door, so I put my ear on it. The sounds were dampen, but I could follow the conversation.

“You know it’s true.”

“Aren’t you and Kyou friends!?”

“We are. And that’s why I say that.”

“Please explain it to me.”

“Everyday we try to travel farther away from Esse and there are more monsters, even these wolfhoppers are there. That’s too much for her. She needs to increase her level in a safer location.”

“Then we’ll go with her. The other hunting grounds can wait.”

“Masa, I know that you’re only thinking about her, but how would she feel?”

“Kyou… does have her pride. But it’s our responsibility as her friends to help her.”

“And what about our responsibility as heroes? Didn’t you just preach yesterday to the others, that we were chosen for a reason and we need to use these powers not only for ourselves, but the ones who put their hopes on us?”

“…I did. But-”

“Masa. Calm down.”


“Hear me out…”

I was not dense enough to not understand what this conversation was about. It was about kicking me out.

I knock.

“…yes? Who is it?”

“It’ me.”

“Come in.”

I originally wanted to talk with Masahiko-kun how we could address that problem of mine, but with this prelude, I just began a casual conversation between friends.

…I didn’t want to think about what just happened.


I really should have said something back then. I feel the regret. Currently, I’m strolling around aimlessly around Esse. “If you’re so sorry, then don’t leave.” Yes, they left. The chancellor proposed a more intense training routine for the heroes, who are already used to the monsters around capital.

And I was left here.

My head feels heavy and I constantly sigh. “If you’re concerned about me, then help.” I would’ve never declined their help. How did Masahiko-kun come to the conclusion, that I have much pride?

Maybe I do. And that’s why I feel so depressed.

“If you’re sure, that I can catch up, then wait for me.” Seriously, please wait.

I’m tearing up. No good. I rub my eyes with a sleeve.

No time to be depressed. It’s time to hunt some monsters!

Violet snakes, again.

I get bitten, I attack with my dagger, back and forth. The moment I see two monsters, I have to retreat, since taking one alone takes a lot of courage, damage and time.

Patience. Resilience. I need to only take on one after another.

“Sorry, Momokawa-san. We wish to support you with your training, but we’re in war, and need every person and coin. You’re a [Priest], if I remember correctly. You may help the church for a salary and use it for equipment and other things. We must think of the future, too.”

That chancellor!

He was kind before, but now explains me in a friendly manner, that they intend to cut me off. Weren’t you the ones, who got me into that mess? And why are you acting like someone from ‘Hello Work!’, trying to get me into any occupation, that seems plausible.

Laying down on my bed, I try to figure a way out of my misery. Do I have no choices anymore?

Why. Why?


I didn’t know that I’m that much of a crybaby.

“…why…” Why. “…why…” Why. “…*sniff* WHY!” Pain, trouble, a whirlpool of feelings. “TRAITORS!” Why did they leave me. “HYPOCRITE!” Why summon me to throw me away. “IDIOT!” Why did I select the [Healer]-class? “MORON!” Why did I follow blindly Masahiko-kun’s suggestions, without thinking for myself?

Pain, pain, pain. Numbness, who got pierced by pain again and again.

The tears on my face are hot, as if I release my anger bit by bit, drop by drop. And only frustration is left behind.

“UUUUAAAAAAAH!” There is nothing I can do.

Don’t break. Bend. It’s a bit hard now, but everything will be better. The last bit of hope is whispering into my mind.

The tears lessened.

It’s just not my time yet.

I… want to go home. When did I last thought that?

Otou-san. Okaa-san. Kouki.

The whispering of hope is overshadowed by the memories of my family. I can still remember their voices, their faces.

Their warmth. I cuddle with it. Even though it’s only a memory, I indulge in it.

Next day, I ask for a job in the church. I need to bend. Times are hard and I need to accept it.

Accept it and be thankful for what you still got.

Why am I still feeling like crying? I have to be strong.

I still feel the pain.

I will most likely never return home again.

But I have to persevere.

There is nothing left.

And everyday I feel a bit more numb. I can accept it.

Day after day. Working some, hunting others. Hunting is always accompanied by frustration. I can only take monsters one-by-one and I need hours to even get sight of them. And if there were more than one, I had to retreat.

But I don’t want to die by fighting more than I can handle. So many wasted days.

Night after night I cry into my pillow, until there are no tears left. But every time it becomes less. And then they stopped.

Another day. What should I do today? I have some earnings, but the chancellor talked to me once a week and every time he mentioned my stagnation and how they need their funds.

One day he will surely cut me entirely off.

So do I rise my level? Not that I could increase it at all. If I consider my non-existing leveling progress, it’d be safer to raise funds. I don’t want to, but what choice do I have.

I feel depressed again.

The people around me are always cheerful or focused on what they do, so I feel even more depressed. And I look at those people with envy.

And every time I see someone down, I’ll feel better myself.

How can that be? That’s disgusting. I’m disgusting. I’m turning into someone I’m not.

But why is it so familiar?

Ah, because it’s like him. Like Katsuragi.

Someone who’s delighted by the suffering of others. The worst. So I’m about to become like him?

Is that the fate of someone without friends? Yes, I’m as friendless as him.

No, Masahiko-kun and the others are waiting for me! I have friends. They’re just… no here.

What great friends they are!

What did I do to deserve this? Why am I on that end of the stick?

I tried to please everyone and got popular in the process. And if you’re popular with most, there will be always some, who will dislike you for it.

When someone was getting in my way, I tried my best to overcome that obstacle. Maybe I went overboard sometimes, but I’m just a weak girl, so I have to use what’s available for me.

I was a good daughter, a good sister, and a good friend and now I’m left without anyone.

I’m all alone in this fantasy world.

But I will overcome it. Like always, I will stand atop at the end.

Even though I can only feel lonely and abandoned for now.

Ah, there is someone else, who’s sitting alone in the courtyard. Dead eyes, messy hair, a armor made out hide. Glasses… wait, isn’t that “Katsuragi?”

Before I could stop myself, I talked to him.

Maybe because he’s the first Japanese I saw for a while. Or maybe because I just thought of him, which made this meeting even more unbelievable. At the same time, I had someone to talk to. Especially someone, who’s as down as me.

I did many mistakes until now. Taking the [Healer]-class. Not taking a battle-focused class. The fact, that I avoided to talk with Masahiko-kun about my problems, before my friends left me.

Unknown to me, I just did the biggest mistake by far: Talking to Katsuragi.

I should’ve known better: Nothing good comes from speaking with him. But I was desperate.

And that foolishness would take its toll.

Epilogue Volume Page Afterword